in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
