i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
