I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Barsexuality is the new black.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize