doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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