Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
