I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
There's always time for handjobs
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
