i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I have fence marks all over my body
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
