he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
