Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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