isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
