Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
