I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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