it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
