Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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