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look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
