Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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