Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
