a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The uberlube is also flammable
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
