I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
ttyl tear gas
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
