Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
