Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
