he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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