You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
