I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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