Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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