If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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