My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
