Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
