Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
