It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
