We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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