I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
