All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
