Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
