Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
