I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
