this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i now understand why vodka
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
