he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
