am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it's great music for shaving your balls
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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