I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
