Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
