You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
