I'm really into asian looking animals
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
