He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
