so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
