So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
