please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
