To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
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