so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Four minutes until I can fart!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
