He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
