So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
