I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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