Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
