So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize