I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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