I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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