I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
