dude i'm inner monologue high
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
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