My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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