xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
