I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
