A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
