im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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