Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
